Hi there, remember me? We went to school together, hung out a few weekends, went to parties our friends threw. But now, a few years have passed and I had a kid. My life forever changed in that moment, and, in many ways, it seems like it’s for the better, but I can’t help but wonder where you’ve been.
We were such great friends, everybody knew it. But now, it seems like we’ve drifted apart. We didn’t have a falling out or a huge fight like most of those our age did. I know nothing crazy came up out-of-the-blue because the few times we do talk, not much actually gets discussed when we update each other on our lives. So, I can’t help but ask myself – what actually happened?
The truth is, I miss you. I think back over all we had been though and reminisce about the good times, the crazy times, and even the hard times. I constantly go over in my head to pinpoint when things have gone downhill for us and I always find myself at one event: I had my son.
Babies are hard, I know that. You know that too and I know that you do. You wanted to give me space because you knew he would be taking up most of my time. You knew that adding parental responsibilities into my routine meant that my time would be limited. That my priorities would change. That things would be different.
You didn’t get angry at me when I didn’t respond to texts immediately or answer the phone the first time when you called. You weren’t upset when I responded to your missed calls and texts days later, usually after the relevance of the subject had dispelled. And, whenever we made plans, you understood that I couldn’t stay out late anymore because I now had a little one to put to bed.
You’ve been so understanding and patient in this transition of mine to motherhood, and I thank you for that, but in taking a step back, it seems that you have forgotten to take another one forward. You chose not to come to me anymore with problems you needed to talk about because you thought that I had more important things and issues to take care of. You stopped inviting me to places because you were ninety-nine percent sure that it wouldn’t fit into my new schedule. Even when I tried to reach out, you withheld information about your troubles and kept talk small because you didn’t want to burden me with issues you deemed irrelevant in comparison to a child. You saw my newly acquired responsibilities and assumed that meant I wouldn’t have time for you anymore, but you’re wrong.
I will always be there for you. I want you to come to me with every issue you need to talk through, even if it’s just to vent and not actually work towards an issue. I want you to invite me to go with you places because I want you to you want me there with you. I miss staying up late like we used to and want to go on spontaneous adventures again. Just because I’m a mom now doesn’t mean that I don’t have time for you anymore. I don’t want you to feel like I forgot about you and I don’t want to feel forgotten.
But, I do. I do feel forgotten. By you taking a step back, I feel like you saw our friendship as over just because a new player was introduced to my family. No, I may not be able to party every weekend or go out every night, but I am still that same girl you befriended in high school. I’m still the same one who went on adventures with you in college. I’m still me. Albeit, a slightly more fatigued version, but still the one who considers you one of her closest friends. I haven’t forgotten about you, so please don’t forget about me.